Post Title. 01/16/2012
Coffee shops. People watching is an art form and one that I consider one of my specialties. That being said, coffee shops are exquisite. For someone who has a closet case of social anxiety, it's a wonderful vacation from reality and not unlike going to see a movie. Currently I have my headphones on and am listening to Zooey Deschanel sing It's So Easy. She's not the greatest singer but she is just so darn cute it more than makes up for it. But I digress. The headphones create a barrier or a cloak protecting me from interactions because as passers by can clearly see, I'm terribly busy doing something. An occasional smile may be exchanged but for the most part, I'm invisible right now. Alone with my thoughts and observations which, often times, are peppered with condescending and sarcastic judgement. Most likely, there is someone else in this very coffee shop (gasp) who is doing the very same thing. To me. Right now. This is what drives my social anxiety - a fear of my image being graded and judged and studied just as I am doing to other people. Right now. I figure if I'm doing it, everyone else is too right? Unless I'm...different. Strange or, um, weird. Oh self esteem, how you are so easily shaped by life. Some are more resilient or immune than others it seems. I for one am not. Sigh. Add Comment Wishes 11/27/2011
I wish I had discovered hooded sweatshirts earlier in life. I wish I were in better shape. I wish my dog would stop farting. I wish making friends was as easy as making mistakes. Why not me? 11/21/2011
This is one of my favorite YouTube videos right now and I don't know why I keep watching it. Each time it makes me jealous and angry and bitter and depressed and inspired all at the same. time. Jealous obviously because he's able to make a living doing this. Angry because this isn't me. Bitter because it realistically never will be. Depressed = re-read the previous sentence. Inspired because it's an awesome idea that has really turned into something bigger than was probably ever expected. Things I can do right now to change my jealous-angry-bitter-depressed-inspired position:
There you have it. Inspirational blog post of the day! Cancer sucks 11/11/2011
Interesting date isn't it? Some people are saying how today will be a "lucky day" and how good things are supposed to happen - momentous things. For me today is the first day my dog doesn't have a tumor in her chest. That is definitely a good day by my definition. On Wednesday, a lump in her chest was determined to be a mast cell tumor which according to my vet needed to come out as soon as possible. I said, how about tomorrow morning! Tomorrow morning I took her for our last morning walk carrying that damn tumor in her chest and then dropped her off for an emotional even for both of us. I got her home last night night after a surgery which the vet said went well. The tissue mass gets sent to a pathology lab in Denver over the weekend and Monday I should find out if they got all of the cancerous cells out or not. My thoughts on that matter can be summed by with the mantra, Oh please oh please oh please oh please..., (etc.). So after a very rough night with a very unhappy doggie, she is now napping and I'm trying to take full breaths. Sick and tired 11/02/2011
Throat lined with sandpaper although I don't recall eating any recently. Tonsils the size (approximately) of ripe cantaloupes. Eyes burning. Head hurting. Whining mode fully functional. Goodwill vs. Humanity 10/30/2011
I love Goodwill. There's just something about the rush that comes with finding a hidden gem hidden within a forest of used speedos and blue jeans suspiciously missing the crotch. Another reason I love Goodwill is for the people watching. Now I want to get something straight right from the beginning. I'm not better than anyone who shops at Goodwill. We are all there for the same reasons - searching for something we want at a good price. That being said, there is a very unique clientele that frequents thrift stores. If you've ever been to one, an explanation isn't necessary. So I'm casually browsing the sweaters (which are in no particular arrangement whatsoever). I hear a male's voice say, <him> "Excuse me sir?". <me> "Yes?" <him> "Can you help me?" <me> "Sure." -suspiciously...- <him> "How much is 50% of $4.99?" <me> "Well, it's about half of $5 so basically $2.50..." <him> "$2.50 huh... So that's a pretty good deal right?" <me> -wondering what the 'good deal' is on... "Definitely!" <him> "Thanks. It's becoming Wintertime and I need to get prepared." <me> "Definitely. I think it's coming whether we like it or not!" Now, my honest reaction at first was shock and sadness. This gentleman was well dressed and well-spoken, seemed to be pretty put together and yet he couldn't calculate what 50% of $4.99 would be. Then my thoughts turned to, "Big deal. so he's not good at math or calculating percentages." However..half of 5? Really? I went about my way perusing the mixture of sweaters that would make Bill Cosby giddy as a school girl but I couldn't get the exchange I had just had with this man out of my head. I was pleased with myself as far as my demeanor and how I handled it outwardly. Friendly, unabashed and certainly not judgmental by his lack of basic arithmetic skills. But here's the thing. We as a society have failed him. We have not adequately prepared him for life. Right now you are rolling your eyes right? You are thinking to yourself, "Who the hell is this guy? How 'brilliant' he is, how insightful!" I claim none of those things. I just think it's sad how this really nice guy at Goodwill couldn't figure out what half of 5 is. That's a < October 23, 2011 10/23/2011
I live in Ft. Collins, CO and have been here since the Fall of 2005. I love the town and the area though I do miss certain aspects of my hometown. One of the great things about Ft. Collins is how "bike friendly" the town is. By the way, I don't own a bike. October 22, 2011 10/23/2011
And so it begins. My name is Matthew, Matt, Matty, Mattymoo, Matty Moosef, Masfwib Maheeney Weeney Jones, Moochow and Mattimus among others. I'm 34 years old, live alone with the exception of Bailey The Dog, the best pooch in the history of pooches I tell ya. What is this site about? Nothing really and I think that's the point. It's something I will mess around with from time to time and see where it goes from there.  Incidentally, these shoes were one of my favorite pairs and I miss them. Bailey ate the heels off. | Matty Moo"The thing about quotes on the internet is you can't confirm their validitiy". ArchivesJanuary 2012 Categories |
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